I’m back from holiday, and it was fab just chilling on the beach, soaking up some sun and reflecting on things.  It’s been a while, so felt inspired to share my story, and keeping it real! Hope you enjoy as feedback would be great!

Confessions of a thirty something (just) Personal Trainer

So the story so far is I began writing this whilst sitting in an apartment in Spain, having my first ‘relaxing’ holiday in a couple of years.  I have been contemplating writing a blog/diary for some time but always stopped myself by thinking, would people be interested? Would people care? Will it be funny or just boring? Will I sound stupid?  Will people be inspired or put off? Well if I don’t write it I won’t know, so here is a preview I guess.

I’m going to be forty next year (not till the end mind), and I’ve got lots of things I want to achieve by then.  Don’t get me wrong as I’m not saying I haven’t achieved much so far, as I have, I maybe a bit of a late starter in life but I’ve travelled, I’ve lived in Australia, I changed careers, I’ve sky dived in New Zealand.  I’ve done stuff, but I was hoping to have bought a house before forty. That’s looking like a bit of a long shot now as really need to pull my finger out with the business and probably stop buying trainers!!  Then there is marriage and kids, but who knows!

Life is good though really.  The beginning of the year was eye opening and tough as with moving house,  then sadly miscarrying, emergency operation for the boyfriend, nightmare exes, and general life stuff happening, which induced a month of comfort eating (guess we all have our moments).  But we moved to a great house, we have awesome family around us, I am super in love and have a fab step son, love the babies…most of the time (that be the pets) and have an awesome client base and the potential for business to be even better.

Then what’s the problem? Why do I constantly battle with trying to lose the same 10-15kg I’ve been saying I will lose for the past however many years.  Why do I let my training slide when it is the thing I love? Why do I hold myself back from so much stuff, business and life related? Why do my clients train with me when I struggle to practice what I preach sometimes?

I ask myself these questions on a daily basis.  Is it just me or do we all suffer from the same sort of fears/criticisms, and then get so consumed with the face value of facebook that you assume everyone else has it all……but do they?  I guess I’m human, perhaps more so then some of the few elusive trainers who never seem to feel tired, who never get home and just want to eat ice cream, who never miss a training session and who always stretch.  Does that make me unprofessional admitting this, or just honest?!

Ultimately to be successful in life and business is everyone’s goal isn’t it? To have a loving family and live a happy life.  Well I’m half way there, just still battling the woes of self doubt and image problems, which is increased by the constant subjection on social media to promote this healthy positive life that we lead!! Don’t get me wrong I’m not slating it as I love a motivational quote/picture or recipe idea but sometimes it’s good to have a break to realise that we all mess up from time to time and it’s not plan sailing!! 

I’m no different from a lot of people I guess (from experience with clients), it’s just learning how to deal with these issues and get over it and live your life rather then letting it pass you by.  To not get on the scales and let it affect your day no matter what the outcome, as we keep telling you not to get on the scales…I admit it though, I do to keep in check and if I’m not happy I sometimes stand off and then stand back on again!! To not eat half a jar of peanut butter whilst standing at kitchen counter…because it doesn’t count right when standing! To not being a real moody, hormonal cow as had a bad night sleep! Yes I am human and a female.

So where do we go from here? Well I did eat a few too many (bad) carbs this holiday and if I’m honest I don’t even particularly enjoy them that much as these days I feel like I have a carb hangover, I did do a couple of nice short workouts to counter act it though as it’s nice doing something different when away.  It’s been lovely chilling by the beach though and it’s made me realise that I love what I do and I miss my clients (not sure if they would share those sentiments).  So now it’s about making it even better, more motivating, more challenging, more varied, more fun.  The sky’s the limit….oh god, I hear some of them shout!!

Now I’m no body coach, or clean eating Alice, but I am Hannah, who’s still going through the journey, who knows how to train people, who is trying to master this time management malarkey and business and family life balance, whilst being honest and hopefully inspiring. I’m trying to lose that 10-15kg whilst not consuming just juices and shakes and eating a varied, balanced diet.  I’m still trying to become a morning person and not feel like death when wake up, probably not helped by reading or watching tv till late to unwind.

I know I can possibly be a bit OTT at times, and I can’t remember how to not worry and stress about stuff.  I’ve become the worlds best faffer especially since running my own business, I’ve realized that I get dodgy tan lines in summer and then when try and even them out I get burnt!! I am quite clumsy, but no dents on the motor yet!!  So I guess I’m human and we do get there in the end….I’m sure of it!

So I guess what I’m trying to get across in a longwinded way is that I thought I might start writing an account of the day to day, week to week challenges of a thirty something personal trainer, as to why life is good but challenging at times but how we all ride the wave.

You may ask well why should you train with me? Why haven’t I lost the weight and be a shining example to my clients?  Well what can I say, I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that I’m almost my worst client, even when I get organised it’s like I hold myself back and self distruct even when I know I would be a hundred times more comfortable in my skin and happier in myself.  Wait a minute, don’t we preach about being happy in yourself now? Of course, as why keep waiting for “when I’m” moments.  I’m happier in myself, honest, and it’s taken me nearly forty years to get there, but I don’t feel as healthy as I could be or as fit as I have been and for me the consistency which I keep preaching to my clients about is the challenge, and is key as I continue to try sort my work/life balance and try and get on top of my inability to stop picking.

So what’s stopping me now, I’m refreshed from holiday and have remembered that I love what I do, and you know what I’m good at it and I help bring the enjoyment back into training (some may not agree), whilst working hard.  I want my clients to not struggle like I have and learn from my mistakes.

I don’t teach crossfit, I’m not a weight lifting queen (definitely need to be stronger), but I can help you train at home, outside and get results, you can make friends with new people, get fitter, lift heavier and learn how to make it your lifestyle along with better food choices. So this journey continues, and I’ll always feel like a chunky personal trainer no matter what my size or how dodgy my tan, but I’ll do the journey with you and get you to where you want to be and stay there.